Killing Me Softly
by Nicky Gabriel
Summary: No, you don't." Hutch reached for his own gun and took the safety off. "I'll do it." He never imagined it would be so easy to say, and even easier to mean it.


Written for **Sue.**

Thank you **Kimberlyfdr** for your help.

**~ * ~**

**Killing Me Softly** by Nicky Gabriel

Hutch reached for a towel and started drying his hair. He knew it could have been worse. It was lucky that they ended up in some remote house in the wilderness and not in a seedy hotel in the center of the city; here at least he could take a walk when he felt like that.

They could have pretended this was a vacation, except for the knowledge that someone from their own department was selling information and they still didn't know who – they even suspected it was one of his guards but couldn't prove it. Witness Protection definitely didn't do much for Hutch's sanity, but Starsky was doing well to keep him distracted. And Starsky was also the only cop in the house he trusted unconditionally.

Hutch finished dressing and left the bathroom, another long night ahead. _'How many times you could play Monopoly and not go crazy?'_ he wondered. Stepping into the living room, he found Starsky was occupying one of the armchairs, grasping his Beretta in his hand. The sight instantly put Hutch on alert.

"Starsk?"

Starsky looked at him and now Hutch knew for sure – something was definitely wrong.

"They've got Ma and Nicky," Starsky said tightly.

Hutch froze.

"They?" he asked, but already knew the answer without a doubt.

"Madigan." Starsky's voice was matter-of-fact.

Hutch couldn't move. He wanted to go to Starsky, to touch him, to tell him it must have been a mistake, but all he could manage was a whispered, "How?"

Starsky reached a hand and Hutch noticed that his partner was holding something white between his fingers; a piece of paper. Hutch took a few steps toward him to retrieve the note and read the message.

"They want you to do _what_?"

Starsky shrugged. Almost.

"You're the only witness, Hutch. Without your testimony, he's a free man." Everybody knew it; even those who shouldn't.

"Where did the note come from?"

Starsky bowed his head. "Somebody slipped it under the door."

Hutch felt the paper slip from between his fingertips. So it really was one of the other cops staying in the safe house. "There must be something..." he insisted.

"There isn't," Starsky whispered, finally looking up at Hutch. The pain in his face, the anguish, the – finality, was breaking Hutch's heart.

"You can't be sure they'll let them go," Hutch said faintly. Logically, Starsky's cop brain should have known that, but it was all that Starsky had to hold onto and Hutch didn't have the heart to take it from him; not there, not like that, not ever.

"I have to believe it, Hutch. Maybe they didn't see who took them and nobody's gonna know it was Madigan's people." Starsky was looking at him intently. "And it's the only way..." he added as if an afterthought.

Hutch pointed at the Beretta.

"And how will you explain that?"

He didn't think Starsky could look even more lost than he already had, but now there was only raw agony in his partner's eyes.

"I won't have to explain..."

Hutch's heart skipped a beat. How long has Starsky been sitting there, thinking it over, looking for answers and solutions and finding none because there weren't any?

"No," Hutch refused as he moved forward, but Starsky was faster. In a blink of an eye, he was facing Hutch, aiming at him.

"I have no choice," Starsky whispered. "You don't really think I'd still want to live after I..."

"I won't let you," Hutch cut in sharply.

"I have to do it." Starsky was so tense that it had to hurt.

"No, you don't." Hutch reached for his own gun and took the safety off. "I'll do it." He never imagined it would be so easy to say, and even easier to mean it.

"Hutch?" Starsky's hand trembled.

"You won't have to explain, either," Hutch said softly.

"No," Starsky protested.

"I'd die for you." Hutch encircled Starsky's wrist – the one holding the gun – with his fingers.

"I know." Starsky didn't move.

"And I'd die for everyone you love," Hutch continued, feeling the life running through Starsky's veins, under his fingertips.

"Hutch, I can't..."

"What if _my_ family was threatened?" Hutch still didn't raise his voice.

And there it was, some kind of desperation or resignation in Starsky's face.

"I – I don't know. How am I – ?" Starsky was fighting a battle with himself and losing. "Hutch, Madigan isn't Carlyle." He nodded toward the mirror on the wall. "He will kill them if..." He couldn't say anything else. Literally.

_Carlyle? Two-way mirror? _They really weren't alone in the room. Hutch almost fainted with relief. The world was making sense again.

"Let me, partner," Starsky whispered hoarsely, almost begging.

But Hutch heard the real meaning. _Trust me, partner._ Slowly, heaving to force the motion, Hutch lowered his hand and dropped the Magnum on the bed.

Starsky reached for his hand and Hutch noticed he held something in his palm. A flicker of panic, hushed by a gentle squeeze, and understanding.

"It's not your fault." Hutch had to tell him the truth because suddenly there was nothing else left to say. The bad guys already heard everything what they needed to hear.

It didn't hurt, but Hutch felt the cut when Starsky tightened his grip over his palm.

"Take care." These were Hutch's last words before he heard the shot – the sound of a gun as familiar as Starsky's heartbeat.

~ * ~

"Hutch?"

He tried to open the eye, but he was too tired. Sleeping? The smell – sterile. Hospital? Hospital and sleep meant morphine. _Morphine?_

He opened his eyes, almost panicking.

"Hey," came a whisper and a second later he could see Starsky's face.

Safety. Starsky meant safety.

"Hey yourself." Something about that moment was familiar; frightening but comforting at the same time.

"You ok?" Hutch asked slowly.

Starsky brushed the hair from Hutch's forehead and nodded.

"How did you –" Hutch wanted to know, but Starsky put a finger over his lips.

"It doesn't matter. We're safe."

Hutch nodded, smiling slightly, as his eyes drifted closed again.


End file.
